I suppose that I should start off by telling you that I am a survivor. I am a survivor of verbal and physical abuse. I am a survivor of neglect and rejection. I am a survivor of self-inflicted years of pain and mental exhaustion. I am a survivor of caring too much and giving to people who were only interested in taking and never reciprocating. I am a survivor of low self-esteem. I am a survivor of poverty. Imagine walking around and constantly looking over your shoulder. Consider walking around with the weight that you chose, handpicked because it looked like it was something you would like and you found out that that was a lie. Survival mode sucks because it causes you to make unwise decisions that take up time and energy. Survival mode is a self-preservation move that ends up affecting how you see the world. There was a time when the world was seen through the eyes of a child and it was seen as pure. Once that child grew up they began to see that it was all a masquerade. It is sad that the child-like way the world is viewed cannot remain that way. Until then we live as if we are simultaneously blind and observant. Living a life that is surrounded by a wall or walls instead of a fence is one that is consumed in a defensive lifestyle. This defensive lifestyle takes a toll on all who are involved. Every word and/or action is taken personally and there is no room for apology if an offense is made. I can imagine that all of this sounds like a story that would not ever happen, but it did. I am its survivor sometimes it feels like I am the only one who experienced it, but there are more like me out there. My hope is that they realize that they are capable of getting out of that survival mode.
If you are finding yourself in survival mode please reach out for help. The following article is a great way to get started.
https://www.merakilane.com/10-signs-youre-living-in-survival-mode-how-to-get-out-of-it/
